Tardis Stables

 Pangurban's Kai Brunnen G Assassin - "Kai" -- In loving memory.

For you, my big beautiful baby, Kai,

I shall never forget the day we met, when your blue 6 week old eyes locked with mine. Our bond germinated in that moment, and bloomed after you arrived at our home, showing your buddy Phantom and all of us, you belonged, and this was your home. The years flew by and, in the blink of an eye, you stood before me at 12 years old, disease taking hold of your huge beautiful body.

On that fateful morning, as snow flurried from the sky ahead of a roaring Nor'easter, I held you to my chest, in the embrace you loved more than anything in this world. The sedative sank you into sleep, with my arms wrapped around your body. I rocked you gently, hugging, never wishing to let go, then, you took that last deep breath, and left this world on your own, before the vet could inject the lethal drug meant to stop your heart and end your suffering. My heart shattered into a billion cutting shards, and I cry a billion tears as I realize;

I must  go thru the rest of my life without you at my side or on my lap.
I will never again look into your big green eyes  that shone with the love our bond fueled.
You will never again greet me when I come home from errands or a trip.
I will never again see your long bushy tail,  big red tabby body and huge paws.
You will never again follow me every morning into the bathroom and sit on the scale, watching me in morning ritual.
I will never hear your baby meow, or trucklike purring.
I will never hear you run around the house playing with your sponge balls.
You will never again jump with all 25 pounds into my lap to cuddle with me in the recliner.
I will never hold you in my embrace, and dance while you purr loud and strong, thus, making the song TINY DANCER, which I sang with on the car radio the day I traveled to see you for the first time, even more profound.
I will never see your excitement at dinner time when your favorites, beef steak and chicken, sizzled on the grill.
I will never again share my cheese, beef and chicken with you, and see your absolute joy in it.
I will never see the awe on people's faces when you waltzed into the room, a gentle giant of a Maine Coon.
I will never stroke your huge head and soft furry body while you purr away.
I will never again see your excitement at Christmas time when the tree and ornaments appeared for your entertainment.

I hugged you to my chest as you left this world on your own, with no help from the lethal drug, and I cry a million tears.

But you no longer suffer.
You will never again be  sick, weak, tired, itchy, thirsty, hot, cold or in pain .

The deep bond we shared, born of your mama's boy pursonality and gentle disposition shall transcend time and space.  May you, as Khan did in you, one day, in another young strong body, find your way home to me. . .  .

I'll love and miss you til the world ends. . ...

With all my love, Kai's Momma